Our Keurig brewer has been on the blink since we bought it so I went back to Bed Bath & Beyond to exchange it (and of course ended up upgrading to the next fanciest model cause it looked so cool) and since I was there I decided to stop in at Old Navy.
My grandmother had sent me a check for $50 for my birthday so on my way shopping I called her to say thanks and tell her I was going to buy a new outfit. She was so cute, and exclaimed that she hadn't sent me enough money for that but I assured her I'd be fine. I went to Old Navy and found a few things I liked, including some size 16 jeans, though I knew they wouldn't fit me yet.
So I took the jeans, an XL tank top and an XXL linen shirt with me to the dressing room, figuring that I'd be lucky if anything fit and the jeans, well, I just wanted to see how far away from 16 I am so I could fantasize about wearing them in the future.
I started with the black tank top, an XL, which just looked like it was falling off of me from the start, but I added on the purple XXL linen shirt, which fit as well as a garbage bag. This was odd, I thought, because normally Old Navy's 2X tops barely squeeze on me. I proceeded to try on the jeans. And as I was pulling them up, they felt like they were going to fit, but I knew that once they got to my waist they wouldn't button. But they did! This was certainly a shock, and my first real proof that the 23 pounds the scale says I've lost is not just a halucination. I sure can't see it when I look at myself but I know that before surgery I had to go buy some size 24 pants because my 22s were too tight. There is no way I could be imagining that (as I like to think I am when the scale goes down.) There is no explanation other than the reality of actual weight and inches lost that would let me fit into size 16 old navy jeans when 3 months ago I was busting out my 22 Lane Bryant and other fat people store stuff.
So, I kept the jeans and switched out the tank and linen shirt for 1 size smaller each. Yes, that means I am wearing an Old Navy LARGE!! I never thought I'd be out of the extra-large sizes. The tank is pretty stretchy so the L fits perfectly. The linen shirt is stiff so I downgraded to an XL. And the outfit looks... amazing. Like I have a body, not just a blob. I am wishing that I could keep everything below the belly button exactly the same and shrink only my top half for a little while because I have to tell you, my size 16 legs and ass look AMAZING! Don't believe me? Check this out:
So yes, even though at 16 I am still clearly a "plus size" I would be so happy to have a matching top half if my lower body stayed just the way it is.
My biggest fear/anxiety right now is that I'm going to continue losing weight in my legs and butt and become very skinny down there but have a huge belly that I can't get rid of no matter what. People assure me that when I've lost enough it'll start coming from there too. It's just one of those things (like believing I'm really -23 lbs) that is hard to believe until the proof hits you in the head.
So there you go, my first non-scale victory. And I'm looking forward to many more.
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