My 6th day post-tummy tuck was an amazing day. We went to the mall and I got my eyebrows threaded and then we walked around a bit more and despite by best intentions, I gave into the temptations to try on clothes. Well, once we rearranged all my drains and I tried on a new top and saw how amazing I looked, I had to get it of course.
I got home with a couple of new things and tried them on for my dad. I was so happy with the way I looked that I started crying. It was kind of funny. I just couldn't contain all my emotions and I've never in my life cried with joy at how good I look. I mean, I've thought I looked pretty good in the past but this is different. This is like, holy shit! Every fantasy I've ever had about being able to wear clothes without rolls of fat and bulges where they aren't supposed to be has come true! How do you react to that if not by bursting into tears of joy? I am so grateful to God or the Universe, the Powers That Be, and everyone in between that I have been able to make it to this day. I never want to despise my body again. I never want to treat it badly, fill it with crap foods, abuse it with lack of sleep or water. I want to take care of myself now that I see what I want to see when I look in the mirror. I know that might sound messed up because we should all want to take that kind of care of ourselves regardless but I don't know...something just feels different. I still can't believe this silhouette is me. It's kind of like seeing a stranger in the mirror and that's weird!
Post op day 7 was as rough as day 6 was good. I was tired from the shopping the night before but somehow managed to stay up way later than I needed to. So I slept a lot on day 7. Also, I started feeling claustrophobic here at my dad's place and physically even though I mostly feel like my normal self again I can't do everything my normal self would so it's frustrating.
Post op day 8: I see my surgeon again. This was supposed to be a happy day because I just knew I'd be getting some drains removed. Been carrying around 5 little hand grenade sized plastic drains coming out of my body from every direction with tubes. Not only are they annoying but they are prohibitive to wearing nice clothes and have to be emptied several times daily. It's just gross and no fun all around. So when I saw my doctor and he only took out 1 (I was expecting 2 to come out) it made me feel quite a bit more down. He also started talking about my belly button and how it might not have survived. I had an umbilical hernia repair done at the same time of my TT and the loss of blood supply to the tissues might have damaged them beyond repair. He said he thought it would pull through but it looked pretty nasty. When asked by my mom, I told her that my belly button looked like a portal to hell that was ready to swallow up the rest of the world. It's that gross and black. So I left my surgeon's office not feeling very well at all. I felt like I could have just started crying on the spot but I waited till I was home to let a few tears out. It wasn't bad. Just enough to do whatever that magical thing crying does for a woman. I felt better. I kept telling myself that it would all be better soon, I'll be healed before I know it, and at least I got one drain out which served not only to eliminate one of the five annoying things hanging off me but also allayed my fears about the drain removal itself. Turns out it barely felt like anything and I'd been worried about the discomfort involved in that.
Post op day 9 started out really well. My dad and stepmom took me out to lunch with an elderly relative who I like and we had a good meal and a good time. Unfortunately I had only eaten a protein shake for breakfast and my salmon lunch filled me up very quickly (more so than normal, maybe 2oz of meat.) So when my stepmom took my to Macy's after lunch for some shopping that I thought I was up for, my body said otherwise. I was almost immediately in a bad mood and it wasn't helped by the idiocy of a few salespeople. My stepmom was really gung ho about me getting some leggings and tall boots and a sweater kind of outfit. We took everything to the dressing room but I was just really uncomfortable physically and didn't even want to try it all on. The drains were always in the way and I was starting to hurt and most of all, I felt extremely fat which I know is cause I'm still swollen but it just wasn't a good combination. I still wanted to get the items though and my motto is "you can always return it." When we got home and after drinking some water, I was definitely feeling better so I tried everything on together again. The privacy of my own room helps in terms of rearranging all the drains and I was able to get a good idea of how the clothes would look. So, yes, my stepmom was right. And when it comes to fashion she rarely is wrong. I also got everything on a great sale and my dad pitched in a little. So even though the shopping experience wasn't the greatest, the results are happy. I came home and lounged till it was dinner time and then went to bed at a decent hour. Good thing I did since I'd get woken up before 8 by a phone call...
Post op day 10 began with my phone ringing. I thought I must have slept till noon cause people don't tend to call me early. It was my surgeon's office calling to ask about my belly button (how sweet!) I told them I wasn't sure there was any improvement, it still looked pretty nasty to me. They asked if I wanted to come in and of course I did because it occurred to me that a couple of the drains might have made enough progress to be removed before the weekend. As it turns out, I was right and I am the proud owner of only TWO drains now. In other good news, the belly button isn't as bad as I thought. It still looks nasty but the doctor things it's "not dead yet" and still has a chance. He's got me doing antibiotic ointment, saline dressings, and a heavier antibiotic than I was previously on, all to keep up hope for my poor belly button.
Today has gone very well. I haven't done much but I'm still tired - a sure sign that I need to go to bed early tonight. I have lots of plans for the weekend with family and I see my doctor again on Monday. I am hoping he will take out one more drain then but I know it might be expecting too much. I am resigned to take things as slow as needed to heal properly but I really miss home (had a lot of homesick sadness on day 7) and as soon as the drains are all out I can fly back. I will have to come back for a followup a couple of weeks later but I'd rather pay another ticket than stay for an extra 2 weeks where I hardly know anyone and am away from my partner, dog, horse, friends, and job.
Going out to dinner in a few minutes with my uncle and cousin. Wearing one of my new outfits for the first time.
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