Inappropriate Idiots

I am surrounded by idiots. It's an invasion that's only gotten worse as I've grown up. I think I used to be surrounded by smarter people but maybe I just had less exposure to the population at large. I don't like stupid people, sorry, not gonna lie. But I like stupid people who open their mouths even less. And let's be clear. By "stupid" I don't necessarily mean those with below average IQs or mental handicaps o anything... just people who have no sense!

So, you want to hear a funny story?

I was back home in Alabama for Thanksgiving and was luckily able to attend my new cousin's baby naming ceremony (it's a Jewish thing.) It was very nice but it also meant I had the chance to see lots of relatives and friends of family who hadn't seen me in years. Not so bad except for those people you don't even know, who remember you from when you were a baby. That's always awkward, at best.

So, apparently Birmingham, Alabama is not too exciting of a place because my massive weight loss was the number one topic of conversation. Some of my relatives made tasteful comments like "you look great" and stuff like that. One in particular said, "What have you been doing to yourself??" in a bit of a shocked and unbelieving way. I decided to joke with her (well, mostly a joke) and said, "Oh, you know, just starving myself and throwing up after every meal." Of course that's not my intention but the reality of what's been going on with my band lately (up till I solved the pill issue) wasn't that far off so it felt kind of witty and ironic. To that my mother replied, "Yes, we're all so proud of Ellen's bulimia." I love my mom! She rocks sarcasm with the best of them.

So overall, not too bad but wait for it...

We were sitting down for the ceremony to begin and this woman from behind me wouldn't stop staring. I had no idea who she was. She obviously knew me though and as such, knew that I must have lost a massive amount of weight. Yes, I used to be bigger than an orca whale and now I'm like Twiggy from the 70s. Lol. Cause neither are true but you wouldn't know that from these people's responses. So this lady says to me (in a loud voice in the middle of the synagogue, remember) "How much weight have you lost??"

If you're reading this then you know I am not shy about sharing my numbers. I'm proud of what I have achieved but that's my choice to share it. I don't like being the center of attention in a circus freak type of way. Luckily I'm pretty quick so I said back to her, without missing a beat, and without a hint of sarcasm "Oh, about 300 pounds." The look on her face was totally worth it. I thought I'd shut her up for good but alas it was not to be. When the ceremony was over and we headed upstairs to the reception hall for the a little noshing she came up behind me and again said, "Really, I know it wasn't 300 lbs but how much have you lost?" I was taken aback but I guess I have to admire her persistence if nothing else. Still, pretty insulted because...well for one thing, who the hell is this person? And what makes her think this is an appropriate question?

So I said, "I'm sorry, I'm not trying to be rude, but I don't even know you and that's kind of a personal question." I thought I maintained my dignity pretty well despite what I was feeling on the inside (let the floor open up and eat me, ya know?)

She said a quick sorry and introduced herself (I immediately forgot her name again) but said she'd known me since I was a child and was a friend of my grandfathers. Sorry to disrespect anyone but seriously? That fact is supposed to give you the right to be a complete dickwad?

Well, anyway, I didn't answer her question so I guess she'll go to her grave never knowing how much I actually lost. Sorry lady.