Reality Setting In

I woke up early this morning and went to the gym. Ran a mile and then walked a few more minutes, did some weights, the rowing machine, and some abs. Showered, drove to work, and have been sitting here at my desk doing work related stuff ever since. It's 2:30 pm and I don't feel like I've actually eaten anything today. I've drank 40oz of water so I'm halfway to my daily goal of 80. And I've had 5 almonds and 2 cashews and a few bites of a mushy broccoli/eggbeaters quiche-esque thing I brought from home. But really, compared to even how I was a week ago, I haven't "eaten" anything.

Last night I went out do dinner with Steve and his dad and I wasn't hungry but ordered a baked potato with shredded pork on it anyway. I knew I'd only take a few bites, which I did. Small bites that I chew thoroughly and slowly. And after 3 of them I was full, probably well beyond full really, and I stopped. Sitting there over the next 15 minutes socializing and NOT eating anything, I began to get more and more uncomfortable. Pain in my head and back which I know means my stomach is overly full. All of a sudden, after all that time of not eating, I felt like I was going to hurl. I left the restaurant and it took about 15 more minutes of walking around outside and hacking up slimy goo for me to feel even mildly better. By the time we got home, an hour after I'd last eaten anything, I felt pretty much normal.

Reality is definitely hitting me. This is not my old life or my old body. The honeymoon I've been on with my band unfilled/very loose is not really what having a lapband is about. I've been thinking how easy all this has been and how I haven't had any ill effects from the band, but now I see that if I am not extremely careful about every little thing, I'm going to be in a world of pain.

Finally.

Later last night I was hungry and decided to take a 2nd try at my dinner. I measured out 2 oz of meat and potato and cut it up and mashed it all together. I ate as slow as I could over the course of 30 minutes. Seriously, have you ever tried eating 2oz of something over 30 minutes? The bites I was eating could more aptly be described as crumbs - if potatoes had crumbs, at least.

It all went down fine, thankfully, and I was ready to be finished well before I got to the end. Not sure why I kept eating but I figured it's 2 ounces for God's sake, it wouldn't kill me to eat the whole thing. I will have that potato and meat for another 6 meals at this rate.

So, I've come to the conclusion that my band is not too tight, that is, I don't need to go get fluid taken out to make it easier to eat again. It's just that I'm finally at that place where the idea of eating more than a tiny bit makes me nauseous and I'm actually concerned I may not get enough protein or nutrition.

I hope this is what I need to reboot my weight loss. I have to keep up with my normal (fairly hard core) exercise that I've let slack off due to all sorts of other things in the past month too. But eating 1/4 of what I'm used to certainly can't hurt. Right? I don't know.