Inappropriate Idiots

I am surrounded by idiots. It's an invasion that's only gotten worse as I've grown up. I think I used to be surrounded by smarter people but maybe I just had less exposure to the population at large. I don't like stupid people, sorry, not gonna lie. But I like stupid people who open their mouths even less. And let's be clear. By "stupid" I don't necessarily mean those with below average IQs or mental handicaps o anything... just people who have no sense!

So, you want to hear a funny story?

I was back home in Alabama for Thanksgiving and was luckily able to attend my new cousin's baby naming ceremony (it's a Jewish thing.) It was very nice but it also meant I had the chance to see lots of relatives and friends of family who hadn't seen me in years. Not so bad except for those people you don't even know, who remember you from when you were a baby. That's always awkward, at best.

So, apparently Birmingham, Alabama is not too exciting of a place because my massive weight loss was the number one topic of conversation. Some of my relatives made tasteful comments like "you look great" and stuff like that. One in particular said, "What have you been doing to yourself??" in a bit of a shocked and unbelieving way. I decided to joke with her (well, mostly a joke) and said, "Oh, you know, just starving myself and throwing up after every meal." Of course that's not my intention but the reality of what's been going on with my band lately (up till I solved the pill issue) wasn't that far off so it felt kind of witty and ironic. To that my mother replied, "Yes, we're all so proud of Ellen's bulimia." I love my mom! She rocks sarcasm with the best of them.

So overall, not too bad but wait for it...

We were sitting down for the ceremony to begin and this woman from behind me wouldn't stop staring. I had no idea who she was. She obviously knew me though and as such, knew that I must have lost a massive amount of weight. Yes, I used to be bigger than an orca whale and now I'm like Twiggy from the 70s. Lol. Cause neither are true but you wouldn't know that from these people's responses. So this lady says to me (in a loud voice in the middle of the synagogue, remember) "How much weight have you lost??"

If you're reading this then you know I am not shy about sharing my numbers. I'm proud of what I have achieved but that's my choice to share it. I don't like being the center of attention in a circus freak type of way. Luckily I'm pretty quick so I said back to her, without missing a beat, and without a hint of sarcasm "Oh, about 300 pounds." The look on her face was totally worth it. I thought I'd shut her up for good but alas it was not to be. When the ceremony was over and we headed upstairs to the reception hall for the a little noshing she came up behind me and again said, "Really, I know it wasn't 300 lbs but how much have you lost?" I was taken aback but I guess I have to admire her persistence if nothing else. Still, pretty insulted because...well for one thing, who the hell is this person? And what makes her think this is an appropriate question?

So I said, "I'm sorry, I'm not trying to be rude, but I don't even know you and that's kind of a personal question." I thought I maintained my dignity pretty well despite what I was feeling on the inside (let the floor open up and eat me, ya know?)

She said a quick sorry and introduced herself (I immediately forgot her name again) but said she'd known me since I was a child and was a friend of my grandfathers. Sorry to disrespect anyone but seriously? That fact is supposed to give you the right to be a complete dickwad?

Well, anyway, I didn't answer her question so I guess she'll go to her grave never knowing how much I actually lost. Sorry lady.

50lbs, Clothes, and Cupcakes

Monday (today) is when I officially count my progress and I'm happy to say that I'm at 224, another 2 lbs down from last week and 6 lbs down from several weeks ago when I was fretting over being back up in the 30s. My resolve is strengthened through these little ups and downs and I am actually starting to really, truly believe that if I just keep following the rules then I'll get there. This means that 1 lb from now (so maybe by Friday of this week) I will have lost 50lbs from my official starting weight. That is something I never thought I'd be able to say in my life. It's amazing, and if it stopped here, I'd be happy. But I don't want it to either.

The past week I've really busted my ass, sticking with the high protein/low carb thing, and exercising O!M!G! exercising. I killed it at rock climbing last week. Did a 5.3 and a 5.4 route for the first time ever. When I started climbing in December of last year I could only blaze my own trail instead of following the routes and sure, it's not that big of a deal that I can now sort of do some of the easier ones (some of - not all by any means.) But Damn! It's an improvement. And it is easier now than it used to be.

Then yesterday, I came THIS close to running a 10 minute mile, which wasn't even really an ambition of mine till I was on the treadmill - at which point I thought, "Hmmm, wouldn't that be cool if I could run this mile in 10 minutes?" I ended up at about 10:30 but that still beats the pants of my fastest previous time of 11:50! I'm getting excited about doing the 5K for the AIDS Walk/Run in October. At this rate, I might actually do the 5K in under 40 minutes which would be amazing. But just finishing it at all would be really thrilling too.

I've been selling some clothes of mine on ebay since they a) don't fit anymore or b) are just not my style and it's time to get rid of them. Here are 2 things no one in my life currently has ever seen me wear or ever will again, but I took pictures of them on cause it sells better that way than just lying flat on a table. And it's weird, I actually think they look good. Who would have thought? Not me, certainly. And I think I can say they look good because my head is not in the picture so it's not really me. *I* don't look good in dresses or pink things but this body does.






So today was a special thing at work (actually this whole week is) and they kicked it off with these killer cupcakes. I decided to have half of one since it's not something they do often. It was good, not the best I've ever had, but pretty good. And I was successful in eating half and throwing the rest away. I feel slightly bad about doing that but I keep telling myself I CANNOT live the rest of my life without eating a piece of cupcake. I can't even live the rest of the next year without that. I eat my dark chocolate every night because it's something I can have a small piece of and it's not high in sugar (70 percentage or higher cocoa, very little sugar actually) so I just won't have that today and we'll call it even.

Lastly, here is a picture I took last week in a new shirt, a men's medium. I love the shirt (in a purely ironic way, not cause I'm a Jesus Freak.) I think I can see the difference in myself particularly well in this picture. Less bulges than I'm used to seeing.




That's all for now, I guess. I'll definitely make a big post when I hit 50lbs for real.

Victories on and off the scale

Today is 10 weeks post-op and I am...(drumroll please)...

228.4!!

I cannot remember last time I was in the 220s, I think I might have been 14 and I certainly never thought I'd be here again. I also was withholding judgment on whether the lap-band was working/would work for me until I got into the 220s because the lowest I ever remember being from dieting on my own was just above 230. My stubborn body just refused to lose anything further and by the time I got there I was so disheartened by the difficulty of those 20-30 lbs I'd lost that I couldn't stand to keep going. So making it beyond 230 is a huge milestone for me and not one I thought I would see so quickly. What's even more exciting and encouraging is that it hasn't been that hard. I know, that sounds crazy, I mean I did a liquid diet for 4 weeks, underwent major surgery, have been exercising my ass off, and being really careful about what I'm eating and when and how. So easy? Am I nuts? No... I think what's made it "easy" in my mind is the one thing that's different about everything I've tried in the past, which is "it works!" I read somewhere that when you get a lapband everything you've heard about dieting becomes true. And it really does. I do what I'm supposed to and I lose weight. A novel concept!

So there's the scale victory and now for the non-scale.

Last night I went to the gym at night which I don't normally do, so that meant I had unlimited time (as opposed to my 30 minute maximum before rushing off to work.) I took my time stretching out and then decided to just go for it and jog 5K, cause I knew I could. Now, I may have technically jogged this far (3.1 miles) when I was 18. I did a lot of jogging then. But that was 8 years ago so it doesn't even count. For all practical purposes, this was the first time I've ever jogged 5K. My first mile was about 11 minutes and I didn't know if I could do 2 more but I slowed down a little and alternated between 4mph and as fast as 6.7mph. I netted out at 3.1 miles/5k in 41:50. That's not a good time by anyone else's standards but for me it was wonderful. I felt great when I was done and I spent a long time stretching out and cooling down. Now, I'd be lying if I said I am looking forward to taking up running as a hobby or wanting to run more and more and faster and faster but it's such a good feeling to know that I can jog for over 40 minutes and a) not fall over b) not pass out c) feel like I could have done a little bit more even.