50 Mile Bike Ride (Part 2 - The Journey)

When I decided a couple of weeks ago that I was going to bike 50 miles on the Heritage Trail, one of the first thoughts I had was "What makes you think you can even do that?" It's weird because I have rarely ever ridden my bike in the past 5 years and when I have it's been 30 or 45 minutes at most. Yet for some reason, I decided I could ride 50 miles which would take me at least 5 hours (more with stops) and I had no doubt in my mind that it was doable.

 I started thinking about this and it seemed like an appropriate metaphor for my weight loss journey. When I set out to get my lap-band, I didn't have any reason to believe I could lose massive amounts of weight but I somehow just "knew" that I would. I could envision myself reaching the finish line. 180lbs was always a number in my mind that stuck out. I zoomed to that goal and I felt unstoppable while doing so. And I largely attribute my success to the mentality that there was just no choice, I had to make it there. It seems as though my body followed my mind's lead and took me where I "had" to go.

It's the same thing with the bike ride. I knew I could make it 25 miles and I knew that once I made it that far I would have no choice but to ride the other 25 home. Sure, if I had an emergency I could have called a friend or a cab to drive me back to where my car was parked but that was a backup plan and certainly wasn't going to be necessary. I just felt like I had no choice but to complete the journey and so I knew that it would happen.

Here is where this metaphor becomes really significant. Now that I am (about) 180 and have been maintaining there (about) for close to 2 years, I still have no ability to visualize myself achieving a lower weight. As much as I want to get to 160, I don't have the same conviction that it's possible. I can't see myself there. I don't have that feeling of knowing or trust that I will get there. I know, oh believe me, I know that this is THE single biggest factor in why I still have not lost my final 20(ish) lbs.

Other issues have popped up that have caused me to gain a little but I know full well that I can and will get back to my 180. But from there, it's like an abyss that for some reason I cannot imagine there being an escape from. So, back to the bike ride... Being alone, in nature, on a bike, for about 7 hours really gives one a lot of time to ponder things. I definitely had a lot of "aha" moments on my ride and I think I learned a lot of lessons. Or maybe things I already knew sank in a little bit more. I paid particular attention to when the lessons I was learning on my ride also could be applied metaphorically to my weight loss journey. It happened more often than you might imagine. It might seem cheesy but keep reading all the way to the end, there's a big punch line (in the sense of life just jabbing me with one of those "oh I'll show you" type things) It'll be worth it, I promise.

Without Further Ado...

What I learned on my 50 mile bike ride:

1. Make sure you have everything you need for your journey ready to go at the start. I was pretty well prepared with 3 liters (plus 20oz more) of water, a flat repair kit and pump, a bunch of trail mix, beef jerky, cheese sticks, cliff bars, and way more stuff than I actually needed.

I only ate trail mix all day after starting the morning with some cereal and bacon. I guess I kind of thought 50 miles was longer than it was. And I thought I'd be more hungry along the way since I burn about 800 calories per hour biking. But as it turned out, the amount of water was just right and the food was overkill.
 

2. Know where you're headed. 

They were nice enough to put this etched in stone map out for people on the trail. It looks like an awfully long way when you look at this one.

3. Break a long journey up into smaller steps. 

Going 50 miles seemed kind of nuts. But going 25 didn't seem so bad. And then I saw that I only had to go 3.7 to be at Durango! And 9.1 to be at Twin Springs! And so on... 

Having intermediate stops, particularly with snazzy names, makes it not feel like such a haul mentally to get to your destination. 

It took me no time at all to fly past Durango and I stopped for my first bathroom/rest break when I got to Graf. That was the furthest I had previously ridden so it was exciting moving forward from there into uncharted territory. 

Trail Marker where I started at "Heritage Pond" - Dyersville, 25 miles, here I come!

4. Don't forget to enjoy the scenery and take lots of pictures. 

It's really sad that these photos didn't come out anywhere close to capturing the beauty of what I saw. The countryside was just gorgeous and I stopped periodically to snap photos on my phone.  It's really important to not forget what's happening along the way. I am glad I wasn't so focused on just simply getting there to the detriment of my actual trip. 

Beautiful landscape. That's a corn field.

View of Cornfields and Farmhouse 5 miles outside Dyersville

5. Iowans are inherently afraid of raccoons.

I don't have a picture to go along with this one but I have a story. Not too far into my ride, I came across another biker. He zoomed past me when I had stopped to use the little girls room on the side of the trail. Luckily my pants were up by the time he came by. I got back on my bike and tried to catch up with him, actually excited to find someone else on the trail. Maybe I'd have company all the way? Well, I never caught up to him but within a few minutes he was screeching to a halt and turning around in the other direction. As he passed me again, this time opposite of me, I asked what was wrong and he pointed at a raccoon. Yes, there was a raccoon just chilling in the middle of the bike path but it didn't look that scary. I told him I was just going to ignore it and I rode by without an issue. I was a little worried that he knew something about raccoons that I don't and this one was going to chase me or lunge at me and latch itself onto my throat or something. But nothing of the sort happened and I finished my ride in peace. 

6. Putting a banana in the freezer overnight does NOT (contrary to logic) make it a tasty frozen potassium snack. Instead, it turns out looking like slime and will splat open like a banana grenade when dropped.

7. When determined to make it to your destination. "Road Closed" signs DO NOT apply to you.

Seriously, there were so many obstacles on my ride...everything from a utility truck blocking the path to road closure, to blockades, to raccoons, to a kid with Down's Syndrome (seriously, don't ask!) but I was not letting anything stop me from making it to the end of the road. I mean, it looked fine to me! I still have no idea why they put this block up. There was nothing warranting it.

8. You better have enjoyed the journey (remember number 4?) cause sometimes the destination is just a big empty parking lot with no picnic area, no bathrooms, no water fountain, no lake, and surrounded by nothing but corn fields. Seriously. This was the biggest bummer. I thought at the end of my 25 mile ride there would be something worth seeing but nope. Just corn.

Celebrating being on the other end of the trail. 25 miles to get back to Heritage Pond!

View of corn after riding 25 miles.

View of the parking lot at my halfway point. Dyersville, IA. Yep, worth the ride. 

9. The last 10% is always the hardest. Ain't that the truth! It was when I had 5 miles left that I started feeling the first real soreness in my muscles. It wasn't bad though. I could certainly make it five more miles.

10. Scratch that...the last 3 miles are the hardest.

After breezing through my day at a much quicker pace with less rest stops than I anticipated, I was on track to be back at my car a full 90 minutes before schedule. I was very proud of myself and was already patting myself on the back for a job well done. Then pedaling started getting kind of hard. And then I noticed a noise I hadn't before. I got off to make sure I wasn't dragging a tree, dead animal, water bottle, small human child, etc. and of course, my rear tire was flat.

With THREE miles left to ride, I had a flat tire. Mother fucker. Just like life to do that too, you know? Knocking me upside the head just when I'm feeling all confident and proud.

So, I stopped to try to fix the tire since I did have a repair kit and pump. And a nice middle-aged couple even stopped to offer their help but it was no use. The valve on the inner tube broke while we tried to find the puncture and patch it. I had no choice but to walk myself and the bike the last 3 miles home.

This was perhaps the most valuable lesson of the day. Bring a spare inner tube, yes, but that's not what I mean. What I mean is that...sometimes those last 3 miles are harder than the 47 previous ones.

Sometimes just when you think you're home free is when the real challenge begins. Believe me, it was a FIGHT not to abandon my bike and find a main road and call a taxi. Or call my friend to drive 20 minutes to come pick me up and take me back to my car. On top of the frustration of being so close and hitting a major snag, my left inner thigh muscle had really started hurting in those last few miles and every step I walked was painful. And you can only walk so far while dragging a flat-tired bike along with you. AND every time you forget for a moment that the bike is there, your leg rams full force into the pedal. I was close to crying. I had to take 2 rest breaks in those last 3 miles when I'd gone 10-15 miles between breaks all day. I felt nearly crushed by the distance still in front of me and every time a biker would come zooming by I would feel bitter and annoyed. But not finishing was not an option.

Sometimes the real accomplishment is how you finish the journey, not how you began it.

Sometimes it takes 5 times longer than you'd planned, or than you'd like, to complete the journey.

But ultimately I knew I was going to finish. I was going to get to say that I traveled on my own muscle from Dubuque to Dyersville and backand that I didn't quit when it got tough. I knew that if I kept putting one foot in front of the other that eventually I would complete my 50 miles even if it took a while and happened through sheer grit and determination.

This is so much like my weight loss journey, it's not even funny. This was like life saying "Hey, you want a metaphor? I'll give you one!"  It took me 9 months to lose 90 lbs and now almost 2 years later I've still got the last 20 to go. And I have to fight tooth and nail and be nearly perfect for each fraction of a pound.

The big question in my mind now is, how do I come to mental terms with my end goal? With the absolute certainty of reaching it no matter how long it takes? If I could just find that conviction, I would be unstoppable. I can do it when it comes to other journeys but this one seems so prone to just turning into an "Oh well, I've come so far, why do I need to go further?" Yesterday, I never seriously entertained the thought of finding another way to get home without completing my course. But for the past 2 years I've found every reason under the sun why it's ok to not finish what I started.

How do I find that missing element within myself? Or what does it mean if that element just isn't there and never materializes?

I have a lot to think about.