From Livejournal March 6th, 2010
So, if day 1 was "so far so good" then day 2 was "ready to give up."
I don't want to piss and moan about it here cause in the end, it's my choice and I need to live with it, but man it was a crappy day. I was miserably hungry the whole day no matter what I ate (well, drank) and I peed twice an hour from 10am-midnight and then once more in the middle of the night. Then, it was a friend's bday so we went to her house for dinner/cake neither of which I could eat but she would have been upset if I didn't go. So I toughed it out and I survived and do feel better for not having given up.
Day 3 has been much better, though I'm still quite hungry. I left home at 11 and ran errands and went to the barn and just got back at 4. I've had a protein shake, an odwalla soy drink, and some cream of mushroom soup. I'm supposed to be on only broths, not soup, but I think I'll switch to broth only at the 1 week mark (3/10.) Being on only liquids, even tasty soups, is still really hard. The only thing that's helping me feel better is knowing I only have 7 days of work left before I get a month off - which I never expected to be possible.
Showing posts with label livejournal. Show all posts
Showing posts with label livejournal. Show all posts
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Day 1
From Livejournal March 4th, 2010:
It's 5:30 pm and I've eaten 932 calories today: all of them liquid. And you know what? It hasn't been THAT bad. I'm sure the first few days will be the worst as far as being hungry goes and after that I'll probably get tired of the same stuff, but I'm encouraged by the facts that a) I'm not going out of my mind, b) I've been able to work and concentrate reasonably well, c)I'm not all that much more hungry than I am when I eat normal solid food, and d) I'm really looking forward to a chocolate/peanut butter/banana smoothie for dinner tonight.
Life is good! I'm not counting calories for any reason except my own curiosity to see how much liquids it takes to keep me full and functional. And on top of all this, someone put out a tray of gourmet brownies that I had to pass by all day every time I walked anywhere and I wasn't tempted in the slightest. I'm going to wholefoods after work to stock up on more whey powder, soups, and maybe some different juices.
Oh, and I tried special k protein water mix and it wasn't that bad but the 5 grams of protein did not in fact "take the edge off" my hunger like the box promises.
1 day (almost) down and 12 more to go as I forge towards my "lucky" day. It's gonna be St. Patrick's day after all.
It's 5:30 pm and I've eaten 932 calories today: all of them liquid. And you know what? It hasn't been THAT bad. I'm sure the first few days will be the worst as far as being hungry goes and after that I'll probably get tired of the same stuff, but I'm encouraged by the facts that a) I'm not going out of my mind, b) I've been able to work and concentrate reasonably well, c)I'm not all that much more hungry than I am when I eat normal solid food, and d) I'm really looking forward to a chocolate/peanut butter/banana smoothie for dinner tonight.
Life is good! I'm not counting calories for any reason except my own curiosity to see how much liquids it takes to keep me full and functional. And on top of all this, someone put out a tray of gourmet brownies that I had to pass by all day every time I walked anywhere and I wasn't tempted in the slightest. I'm going to wholefoods after work to stock up on more whey powder, soups, and maybe some different juices.
Oh, and I tried special k protein water mix and it wasn't that bad but the 5 grams of protein did not in fact "take the edge off" my hunger like the box promises.
1 day (almost) down and 12 more to go as I forge towards my "lucky" day. It's gonna be St. Patrick's day after all.
2 weeks from today!
From Livejournal March 3rd, 2010:
Today was supposed to be the start of my liquid diet (2 weeks from today, I'm in the hospital having surgery.) But, my new boss's-boss wanted to take me out to lunch to get to know me and this was the only day she could do it so I decided to postpone rather than have a weird, non eating lunch. I told her about my plans and she is very understanding, so starting tomorrow it's 13 days of liquids before the surgery and then 2 more weeks of them afterward before I move to pureed foods.
Got some good news a few days back... When applying for short term disability (STD, lol) my surgeon gave me 30 days off work and amazingly work is understanding and we're working on hiring our intern to fill in for me for the month.
This means a) I don't have to and in fact won't be allowed to worry about work from March 17 - April 17th and b) that I'll have lots more free time than I've ever had before. I may not be able to drive for a couple of weeks so I am looking for people who want to come hang out or pick me up and go places once I'm feeling well enough. Hopefully there will be a few people interested so I don't spend a month sitting at home alone. I'm also hoping I'll be cleared to drive after 2 weeks. I have a post-op appointment on 3/31 that I will probably have to be driven to but should find out at that point if I'm cleared for driving.
So, I'll be wanting to do things to keep moving like taking walks, maybe (window)shopping, etc. Also, if you're one of the people who has ridden or wants to ride Helo, I will be offering that and even teach you if you pick me up and drive me to the barn.
I don't know what else to do other than read, watch movies, hang out with friends, and relax for my recovery time. Damn... I should have looked into that whole medical tourism thing more beforehand cause I could have done this in Mexico.
Today was supposed to be the start of my liquid diet (2 weeks from today, I'm in the hospital having surgery.) But, my new boss's-boss wanted to take me out to lunch to get to know me and this was the only day she could do it so I decided to postpone rather than have a weird, non eating lunch. I told her about my plans and she is very understanding, so starting tomorrow it's 13 days of liquids before the surgery and then 2 more weeks of them afterward before I move to pureed foods.
Got some good news a few days back... When applying for short term disability (STD, lol) my surgeon gave me 30 days off work and amazingly work is understanding and we're working on hiring our intern to fill in for me for the month.
This means a) I don't have to and in fact won't be allowed to worry about work from March 17 - April 17th and b) that I'll have lots more free time than I've ever had before. I may not be able to drive for a couple of weeks so I am looking for people who want to come hang out or pick me up and go places once I'm feeling well enough. Hopefully there will be a few people interested so I don't spend a month sitting at home alone. I'm also hoping I'll be cleared to drive after 2 weeks. I have a post-op appointment on 3/31 that I will probably have to be driven to but should find out at that point if I'm cleared for driving.
So, I'll be wanting to do things to keep moving like taking walks, maybe (window)shopping, etc. Also, if you're one of the people who has ridden or wants to ride Helo, I will be offering that and even teach you if you pick me up and drive me to the barn.
I don't know what else to do other than read, watch movies, hang out with friends, and relax for my recovery time. Damn... I should have looked into that whole medical tourism thing more beforehand cause I could have done this in Mexico.
Open letter to friends
From my Livejournal February 18th, 2010:
Dear Friends,
If you're reading this, it means I know you well enough that I think you'd care. I culled down my friends list for this one (and was amazed at how many people I had on there that I barely know.) Not that all of you are people I see every day, by any means, but enough that I wanted to share some big and life changing news. It's not that this is going to be a secret, though, so don't feel like it's something you can't mention next time you see me in public.
I have decided to undergo LAP-Band surgery in order to help me lose weight - a venture that I have been unsuccessful with on my own since I was 9 years old. Not even kidding, my mom took me to weight watchers with her for the first time when I was nine and then we did Atkins together. Thus begin my life of dieting... It's no wonder, looking back, that my relationship with food has been a weird one. I'm (about to be) 26 now and I've overcome a LOT of issues in my life - or at least worked through most of them to the point of being functional even if I'm still a bit neurotic. I've been thinking about having some sort of weight loss surgery since I was 18 and my endocrinologist who I saw for PCOS told me I should look into it. My parents were so opposed to it and I put it out of my mind for a while but it's always been back there, percolating. In December of '09 I had an epiphany. I guess it was what people call getting knocked over the head by a cosmic 2x4. I realized I had to do it and I set into motion the process of doing so.
I have barely told anyone about it, though a few of my friends know. I've gotten mostly positive reactions. My mind is made up, so please, if you don't or can't support my decision, I'd rather not hear discouragement or reasons why you think it's wrong. My reasons are very personal to me and have nothing to do with wanting to be thin for any sort of aesthetic purpose.
I want to say this here and I will continue to say this, I love people no matter what their size or weight and many of my friends are fat and most of my closest friends are. I can't say this enough - this has nothing to do with you, or me judging you, or me feeling like I am better than you, or that you'd be better if you were thin. It's very important that people understand I am doing this for myself for personal mental and physical health reasons and because it's what I have long felt would be the right choice for me. I promise to never turn into a weight loss evangelist or tell you that you'd be better off following in my footsteps. There's no guarantee with this that I'll even lose any amount of weight but I am determined to take full advantage of it and I believe I will reach my goals.
I have been in the process for nearly 3 months now and I just found out that my insurance approved and I've been assigned a surgery date of March 17th. I have to be on a liquid diet for 2 weeks prior and 2 weeks after, so I probably won't be in the best mood, BUT, I would love it if people wanted to come and visit me starting on 3/18 in the afternoon when I'm home from the hospital. My surgery is at 7:45 am on the 17th so I'll be let out sometime in the morning on the 18th. I will probably be staying home from work the following Mon-Fri cause I don't know how quickly I'll be off pain killers and able to drive and besides, why would I want to deal with work bullshit when I can barely eat anything and am going to be grumpy anyway? My boss is very understanding, luckily!
Dear Friends,
If you're reading this, it means I know you well enough that I think you'd care. I culled down my friends list for this one (and was amazed at how many people I had on there that I barely know.) Not that all of you are people I see every day, by any means, but enough that I wanted to share some big and life changing news. It's not that this is going to be a secret, though, so don't feel like it's something you can't mention next time you see me in public.
I have decided to undergo LAP-Band surgery in order to help me lose weight - a venture that I have been unsuccessful with on my own since I was 9 years old. Not even kidding, my mom took me to weight watchers with her for the first time when I was nine and then we did Atkins together. Thus begin my life of dieting... It's no wonder, looking back, that my relationship with food has been a weird one. I'm (about to be) 26 now and I've overcome a LOT of issues in my life - or at least worked through most of them to the point of being functional even if I'm still a bit neurotic. I've been thinking about having some sort of weight loss surgery since I was 18 and my endocrinologist who I saw for PCOS told me I should look into it. My parents were so opposed to it and I put it out of my mind for a while but it's always been back there, percolating. In December of '09 I had an epiphany. I guess it was what people call getting knocked over the head by a cosmic 2x4. I realized I had to do it and I set into motion the process of doing so.
I have barely told anyone about it, though a few of my friends know. I've gotten mostly positive reactions. My mind is made up, so please, if you don't or can't support my decision, I'd rather not hear discouragement or reasons why you think it's wrong. My reasons are very personal to me and have nothing to do with wanting to be thin for any sort of aesthetic purpose.
I want to say this here and I will continue to say this, I love people no matter what their size or weight and many of my friends are fat and most of my closest friends are. I can't say this enough - this has nothing to do with you, or me judging you, or me feeling like I am better than you, or that you'd be better if you were thin. It's very important that people understand I am doing this for myself for personal mental and physical health reasons and because it's what I have long felt would be the right choice for me. I promise to never turn into a weight loss evangelist or tell you that you'd be better off following in my footsteps. There's no guarantee with this that I'll even lose any amount of weight but I am determined to take full advantage of it and I believe I will reach my goals.
I have been in the process for nearly 3 months now and I just found out that my insurance approved and I've been assigned a surgery date of March 17th. I have to be on a liquid diet for 2 weeks prior and 2 weeks after, so I probably won't be in the best mood, BUT, I would love it if people wanted to come and visit me starting on 3/18 in the afternoon when I'm home from the hospital. My surgery is at 7:45 am on the 17th so I'll be let out sometime in the morning on the 18th. I will probably be staying home from work the following Mon-Fri cause I don't know how quickly I'll be off pain killers and able to drive and besides, why would I want to deal with work bullshit when I can barely eat anything and am going to be grumpy anyway? My boss is very understanding, luckily!
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